If You Would Have Asked Me
I If You Would Have Asked Me
I probably would have given you a different answer.
We change. Life changes. And sometimes, something happens that makes us question what we thought we knew about ourselves, other people, or the world around us.
If You Would Have Asked Me is a space to talk through those things. Relationships, identity, society, spirituality, growth, and the uncomfortable questions that come with trying to understand any of it.
I bring my experiences, what I’m learning, and the questions I’m still working through. You bring your own perspective. And somewhere in that conversation, we might find something we hadn’t considered.
We don’t have to have it all figured out to talk about it. And we’re allowed to leave the conversation with a different answer than the one we came in with.
Lately on the Podcast
Coming Friday on Spotify
Do You Want the Truth or Do You Want to Be Right?
I think most of us would say we want the truth. But what happens when it doesn’t support what we’ve been saying? Especially when we’ve already argued our point and felt pretty confident about it.
Are we still willing to listen? Ask another question? Admit that maybe we missed something?
This episode, we’re getting into the difference between wanting to understand and wanting to be right—and what happens when we have to choose.
A question to sit with
When did asking a question change how you saw something?
Have you ever asked why something was done a certain way and gotten “that’s just how it is” as the answer? Okay, but why? Who decided that? And does it still make sense?
Maybe it happened at work, in your family, in a friendship, or with something you’d always believed yourself. Sometimes one question opens up a conversation you didn’t even realize you needed to have.
This month, I want to hear about those moments. What did you question, and what did you learn? Did it change your mind, confirm what you thought, or leave you with more questions?
Explore this month’s question
The Deep Dive
Because one question usually leads to another.
Sometimes I finish a conversation and realize there’s a whole part of it I still want to understand. Something someone said, a belief I’ve never questioned, or a connection I can’t stop thinking about.
The Deep Dive is where I spend more time with those things—through research, personal reflection, and questions that don’t always have a simple answer.
If something here makes you curious, follow it. And if you see it differently, I want to hear that too.
Explore the Deep Dive
Questioning Authority is Not Rebellion. Sometimes it’s Just Maintenance.
Yellow House
Okay so, lets talk about it?
A question you keep coming back to? Something you’ve noticed? A little joy you think someone else could use? I want to hear about it.
Yellow House comes from the idea that we all have a brightness within us. Our curiosity, our imagination, the little things we get excited about, and our own way of seeing the world.
But we’re also conditioned to doubt ourselves in some way. You could be doing well and still find yourself asking, “Am I doing enough? Should I be further along? Is it okay that I want something different?” And I think sometimes we spend so much time questioning ourselves that we forget we’re allowed to enjoy who we are, too.
To me, home means feeling safe enough to talk about what’s actually happening around us. What’s good, what’s uncomfortable, and what simply doesn’t align with how we want to live. Being able to acknowledge it, ask questions, and hopefully find something we’re willing to do to change it.
So tell me what’s been on your mind. Share a story, send me a question, or suggest a conversation you’d like us to have. You don’t need to have it all figured out to be part of the conversation. I don’t either.
What do you wish someone would have asked you?
Before You Press Play…
You should probably know who’s doing all this talking.
I’m Addi Em.
I’m the host of If You Would Have Asked Me. I have a high school diploma, and a lot of what I talk about starts with something I’ve experienced, something I’ve noticed, or a question I can’t seem to leave alone.
For a long time, I paid attention because I felt like I had to. Living in a survivor mindset taught me to notice changes in people, patterns, and what wasn’t being said. But noticing something and understanding it aren’t always the same thing. That’s something I’m still learning, too.
Now, I want to understand more of what I’m noticing. Where did this belief come from? Why do we accept that? What am I missing because I’ve only experienced it from my side?
I’m not coming into every episode with all the answers. I do research, I share my experiences, and I ask questions because I want to know. And if I learn something that changes my perspective, I want to be able to say that.
That’s a lot of what this podcast is for me. A chance to talk about the things I keep thinking about and hear from people who have something to add. Some of it gets serious. Some of it makes me laugh. Usually, one thing leads to about twelve other things.
So, Hey. I’m glad you’re here, and I want to hear what you would have said if someone had asked you.
Listen to the podcast :)